Chris considered himself pretty intuitive. Not that he would use that word specifically. He preferred to not think about it, not refer to it. But if he had to call it something he would say he was just lucky. He would – almost constantly – get these “little ideas” and have lots of “a-ha moments” about almost everything. It was just easy. From “just knowing” what to use in projects at work, being able to tell what people to work with or not work with, and places to go, even if it was simply about what coffee shop to go to. It had always been that way for him.

But easy seemed to be happening less and less lately, as if his luck was running out. Things were busy and work had a lot of demands and new things he had to figure out. He felt like things were going sideways more often, that he struggled more, and as if he was a little disconnected to his world, his life.

the thing

It wasn’t that Chris wasn’t intuitive, or that he was losing his ability, it was that he was spending way too much time in his head and not acknowledging the information that was coming to him.

What had happened was that his days had turned into logic-intensive work sessions. His new projects came with new co-workers and a new boss that focused on logical knowing to the exclusion of all else. Where he used to have a balance of logic and intuition, or flow, he had stopped tuning in to the intuitive side and was constantly pushing for more and more logic. The intuitive side didn’t disappear, it was just being drowned out.

Chris was waiting for permission from others to operate in his own way in this new work, and it simply wasn’t coming.

the other thing

It’s never going to happen, that permission thing, so skip ahead.

“Logic” and “thinking” aren’t wrong, they certainly have their own validity, but so does the way of talking referencing feelings. The information that comes through even though you can’t explain how is valid, too. We just can’t really explain intuitive knowing in the terms we were using for logical knowing.

Feelings ARE the language of intuition. It’s the only way to convey them. It’s their currency, their vibration level. And it is completely valid. We work to put words and descriptions to those feelings so we can share the sensations with others and make logical sense of them.

Many times we wait for permission to be given to us by others saying “It’s okay to be intuitive. It’s okay to trust that voice, and act on it and build it.”  No one seems to be writing us a note to that effect, though, so we keep waiting.

You don’t need permission from anyone but you. Take permission to be intuitive in every single area of your life and to use that no matter what. Take permission to use your intuition whether you’re at the grocery store or picking out vitamins or making a financial decision or figuring out what you’re going to do with the rest of your life. You have all the permission you need.

I am not saying to ignore everything else and only honor intuition, but couple intuition with your current skills of “logic.”

You have to trust yourself, go with your gut instincts, and know what’s right for you. You have your own guidance system. It was given to you at birth, and it will steer you in the right direction every time.

a few other things

Napolean Hill writes about intuition extensively in his book “Think and Grow Rich”. A collection of the traits of the world’s most successful business people at the beginning of the 1900’s, this book highlights 13 different factors that make for a successful person. Every single one of them considers intuition essential. Although they – wrongly in my opinion – assert that intuition cannot be gained until one is later in life. I have found the opposite to be true. That we are born with it, unlearn it, and it is only later in life that we have such disregard for others’ opinions of us that we are willing to follow our intuition and voice it without needing others to be ok with it.

Save time. Learn from others. Follow your intuition NOW.

the good part

Chris got his mojo back lickety-split. He made a point of tuning back in to himself and wrote his own permission slip (feeling a little silly that he had given away power over his own life like that, but hey … he’s in good company!) Acknowledging it, appreciating it, and heeding that inner voice made a difference too. Within a few weeks he was back into his old rhythm of “luck”, but he wisely stayed away from Vegas and began enjoying the flow of his life again.

What about you? Are you waiting for someone to give you permission to add intuition back into your daily schedule? What would it take for you to step in on your own? Would love to hear from you.

Much love,

Laura

After the last post regarding meditation, I had a lot of contacts, comments, and questions from people. Many of them shared with me that they already were meditating as a part of their daily routine.

“HOORAY!” I said.

But then they kept talking, and the truth came out.

Turns out “daily” really translated into “when it works out” or at best “a couple times a week.” Hmmmm. And “meditation” really translated into “visualizations” of things people wanted to manifest or intentionally “communicating” with others. And many people were giving up because they didn’t “get it right” within a few weeks.

the first issue

There is a BIG difference between doing something every day and doing something when it suits you. Just ask any athlete.

Do athletes work out when they feel like it, or every day? Even their days off are intentional and part of a larger plan, right? And I am not just talking about professional athletes, either. Ask anyone who makes exercise or movement of any kind as a part of their plan for health – even if it’s “just” walking – and that person will tell you that what matters is the consistency with which the practice is done. Some workouts are better than others, some last longer than others, some days you a different workout than the other week, but all workouts are consistently completed. And the athlete’s bodies know it and respond – very well and very positively – accordingly. So does “daily” matter in a meditation practice? Yep. A lot.

That’s partly because you are conditioning your mind, teaching it, that this is part of being alive. That mediation is part of functioning in a healthy way. And also partly because – like with exercise – if you don’t do it in some form daily, you don’t get to enjoy the real benefits. (Which, quite frankly are super cool!) So  … slack not, my friends! It’s really quite fun.

the second issue

Visualizations are delightful as well as very important. They help you clarify and manifest dreams, goals, and desires.(Yippee skippee, Batman.) But they are NOT the same thing as meditating, and operating as if they are can lead to trouble.

Remember that we said meditation is a good time to sit down and listen, be quiet, receive. It is essential to turn off the mind every day, even if it is just for a few moments. While you may end up receiving pictures as part of a meditation, it is FAR different from forcing or conjuring pictures as we do when we visualize. Visualizing engages your energy above your neck, it is very very centered in the mind and the head. That is an energy we spend way too much time in already, and are trying to step away from for a moment. More time spent here is not needed. More time spent here without even recognizing it for what it is can lead to frustration and exhaustion, and staying stuck in the same old patterns.

Meditative energy is from deep down. It is breathing into your belly, being present to where you are and dropping into this moment right here. That is a DEEP feeling. It’s a centeredness, groundedness. It’s being in your hara, your true center which is in your pelvis. It’s becoming aware of where the edge of your feet are, where your back is in relation to the air around it, where your body is in the room you are in. Can you feel how different that is from head energy?

the good part

So let your visualization be separate from your meditation. Let your communication be a separate time as well. Do not multi-task.

If you are willing to be so bold as to sit in silence with yourself in your world every day, without doing with your mind you WILL begin to see the delightful depths. You will begin to find a new beauty. Do it every day, with love and excitement for what you will find buried in you.

I am certain you will find that treasure. I am certain it will show itself if you show up to find it.

Much love,

Laura

Shelly called me the other day on the phone saying “I have so much to do, so many people to contact. I really feel like I gotta get MOVING! I just have to buckle down and work and work for the next few days. I have deadlines and people depending on me. I gotta get it done.”

I said “Hi, nice to talk to you, too.” Wow, was she on overdrive! After another minute or two of her downloading on me I asked “How’s that meditation going?”  There was a pause on the other end of the line. “Yeah … um … well … I’m not so great at that,” she said evasively. “I get that,” I said “and I understand, and it’s time to get good at that so you can really get to where you want to go.”

“I don’t follow, really,” she said. “I have work to do. Mountains of it. I just need you to help me prioritize it.”

“That’s exactly what I’m trying to do,” I said.

the issue

Shelly’s issue was one that a lot of business people, especially entrepreneurs, face. They truly do have mountains of work to complete and real deadlines to meet. They want to run into the pile headlong, do first things first, and not quit until it’s done. Dam the torpedos and full speed ahead. Aside from the problem that it is never done, there is also the issue of creating something you actually want to be a part of.

From a practical point of view, if you rush into the pile of work and just get it done, you will undoubtably end up doing more work and spending way more energy than you need to or have to. You are also going to be doing it with an energy that is bulldog at best and frenetic at the worst … neither of which you want to have going on around your work.

No matter what your business is, it requires that other people buy something from you, interact with you. Your energy that you do your work with is also the energy that will create the attraction of clients. Do you want to work with people who are bulldogs or frenetic people? I am sure you CAN work with them, but do you WANT to? The point of being in business for yourself is to work with people you like and enjoy, not people you have to suffer through.

Shelly couldn’t see that she didn’t need to do more, faster. She didn’t understand that intentionally taking time every day to truly not do anything would help make what she did do twice as effective. She needed to allow time for peace and clarity to come in … something that NEVER happens on overdrive.

how’s that now?

Don’t worry … you don’t need to find a new religion or to sit around in robes and chant all day. Meditation doesn’t need to change your fashion sense or sense of a higher power. It is simply getting in to a place where you can turn off the mental chatter and feel a deep sense of peace. Sound good? It is!

We are always willing to spend time vocalizing what is going on with us and share our problems. We pray, go to therapy, journal, blog, post on Facebook, complain to anyone around, talk to ourselves, but we rarely take time to actually listen for answers back.

And that’s what meditating is pure and simple: listening. You will be amazed by the information that starts flooding in when you let it.

Some people are better at doing moving meditations such as yoga, walking, or dancing. Other people are better at sitting meditations, where they sit and focus on their breathing or a mentally-repeated statement (a mantra). I personally love to rock in a glider or a swing while staring off into space.

The only meditation that absolutely does not work is the one you do not do, so focus on finding your method.

the basics – how to listen

However you choose to listen, here are the basic guidelines. The guidelines are there as suggestions from what others have found helpful, not “rules.” There are no rules. Many find that a pleasant conditioning works well here, in other words: use your environment to create a setting that slips you into meditation faster and easier.

To do this most easily: do it at the same time each day and in the same place. Sit upright in a comfortable position (if you sit cross-legged do not overlap your legs) with your back supported against cushions on a wall or in a chair that allows you to lean back. You don’t want to lie down meditating because it is very relaxing and you will likely simply fall asleep. Gently interlace your hands or place them on your legs, but keep them connected to the rest of you in some way.

You can light a candle if you like. Some people find this helps set a tone, others like to stare at the candle flame. Or a fountain can create a nice setting and something to look at.

If you keep your eyes open, make your gaze soft and unfocused a little bit ahead of you, like you do when you “zone out” or daydream. You may prefer to keep your eyes closed, however.

Try to do this in a place that you will be undisturbed, that is quiet, that is calm. That may not exist in your life (all the more reason to be meditating), but work to find a time and a place where this does occur and things will go easier.

Many people get cold when they relax, so having a blanket nearby to wrap around you is great.

Our sense of smell is our strongest triggering sense, so burning incense while meditating is a great practice. It sets the meditation environment apart from the rest of your life, and is enjoyable. Sandalwood is often a scent that works well. Make sure to buy good quality, natural incense not perfumed, smokey versions. Or use a special essential oil in an oil warmer to create a specific scent that you associate with meditation alone.

Start with 5 minutes and work your way up to at least 15 to 20 minutes. Set a timer to help you relax about how long it has been (this reduces the desire to keep opening your eyes and staring at a clock.) The i-Qi timer app is wonderful for a gentle alarm.

Attempt to empty your mind of all thoughts; there’s no mental chatter, and there is no judgment or feedback. Let it be like a game, playful and gentle. Let the mind empty. Think of nothing (you will find this impossible) and then notice that the thoughts flood back in. Just notice that. Don’t judge. Escort them out again. Repeat. After a while you will notice that the nothingness stays a little longer each time.

You might try listening to music that has no lyrics or is in another language. Some people listen to CDs of ocean waves on a beach, others listen to native or religious chanting (if it has positive associations for them), some people like “massage music” and others use guided meditation CDs or downloads. This can be a way to start. Ideally you simply sit in silence, however. Because that is the goal: silence of the mind.

Turn attention to your breath counting the inhalation and exhalation. Make the exhalation longer than the inhalation. Doing this counting will keep your mind busy and empty it otherwise.

Meditation is usually coupled with deeper breathing than is normal for us, which facilitates bringing more oxygen into the entire body and giving us space to breathe and a chance to clear body, mind, and soul.

There is no talking, no “output.” Aside from music – which is optional – there is usually no “input” either.

dealing with the mind freak

What I tell people who are beginning their meditation practice and getting frustrated that they cannot seem to empty their minds is to keep a notebook and pen with them in meditation to begin with.

Your mind will be threatened by the change and the desire to turn it off for even a short time, so it will start sending out new thoughts that matter to you. You will suddenly remember something important, have a great idea about an issue you care about, or keep thinking of things you forgot yesterday. That’s fine. Just scribble them down on the notebook, say thank you to the mind and go immediately back into meditation. You don’t even need to open your eyes to write it down, just jot a messy note and go ahead.

Assure your mind that this is going to be great, that this will create a great place for it to rest for a moment, that it is not being replaced.  And be very gentle with yourself as you learn this very wonderful, simple, yet often elusive skill.

A note here about successful meditation … you will never get it. Knowing that from the outset usually is the most helpful piece of information we can have. Meditation is a PRACTICE, it is never something you accomplish. His holiness the Dalai Lama is in his 70’s and has meditated all his life. He meditates for 5 hours a day, and he considers that he has a meditation practice. I have meditated for 20 years and I am still practicing. You never “get it.” I liken it to digging a hole in the sand at the ocean’s edge and trying to keep it empty of water: you can get it empty, but it is a temporary thing.

What you can do is get more comfortable with it and practice every day. Issue yourself a meditation challenge of doing it every day for 30 days and see what type of a difference you notice.

What about you … what does your sitting still practice look like right now? Does a 30-day challenge sound good to you? Would love to hear from you on this.

Much love,

Laura

P.S. If you need a basic meditation MP3 file to get you started, contact me via this site.

The other day Pat contacted me begging for help. He had been completely in the groove for weeks, everything humming along in business and at home, great health, and life was lovely. Then he hit a road block … hard. All of the sudden he was – to use his words – in “stupid mode.” Nothing seemed to be flowing. He was stumbling over basic decisions and feeling disconnected. His days were off and there was a gigantic disconnect between his brain and his mouth. He needed some advice.

Pat’s life had been groovin’ along indeed, and he had been traveling and working late as part of that groove. He didn’t feel too run down, but he did have the disconnect going on and decisions he needed to make were not going well. The problem was dehydration. One of the cardinal rules about being “in the flow” is that you literally do need to be in the flow … of water that is. Without hydration your body/mind/spirit cannot make the connections it needs to. Pat’s lifestyle of traveling and late work meant that his body wasn’t getting the goods, and he was in tune enough to notice it right away.

One of the primary ways to keep your body and mind functioning in top form is to be hydrated. Being hydrated is also essential in being able to make clear decisions. Your ability to tune in to your own intuition and get grounded is greatly improved by drinking water.

Complications

Exercising, weight loss, being in hot weather, forced air (air conditioning and heat), alcohol, caffeine, salty foods, staying up late, and drugs – prescription or otherwise – all dehydrate you even more than average living so you need to drink additional water just to break even.

When you’re staying up late, traveling, at a conference, or getting up early skip the caffeine and refined sugar that will make you crash even harder … stick with green tea and lots of water to get you through.

If you find you are having many meetings over cocktails or coffee, rethink the drink.

uh-oh …

If you’re thirsty, it’s already too late … you’re in a dehydrated state. Keep your body at 70 to 80% of water by drinking eight 8-ounce glasses of water during the day as a minimum.

Know that your body doesn’t take a glass of water and dole it out a little bit to this organ and a little bit that organ – it prioritizes. Your first glass of water will go mostly to your brain. As you continue to drink more water, that will be distributed on a prioritized basis to the rest of your organs. Your skin will benefit last. So, drinking two glasses of water a day means there are parts of your body that aren’t getting water at all.

indicators

If you find yourself hungry a lot despite having eaten, suspect that dehydration is the culprit. Your body will try to get its fluids wherever it can, and if you won’t provide it with what it requires through liquids, it will try to get them from the food you put in it.

Since you are likely eating foods that not only don’t contain much fluid but are filled with salt – like snack foods, prepared foods, pre-packed items, or carbohydrates instead of fresh fruit and vegetables ­– your body will keep demanding more and food in an effort to gain the water it needs. Try drinking water instead of eating food and see if the hunger subsides.  If you are still hungry in 20 minutes, then go ahead and eat.

If you are tired all the time, definitely hydrate as a first line of recourse. Without water for your brain and body to run on, it takes more energy to do basic tasks, hence the fatigue.

Some of us are so constantly tired, we don’t even recognize the fatigue. So take a peek at your ability to focus. Can you concentrate clearly and stay with it? Lack of focus can be a sign of deep fatigue. Changing to your diet and increasing your water intake matter greatly here.

how does your garden grow?

Drink pure water – either spring water or filtered by reverse osmosis or alkaline water whenever possible – but definitely not chlorinated or carbonated. A great way to remember to actually drink the water is to use the clock: at the top of the hour, every hour, have a glass of water.

Coconut water, now available at most health food and grocery stores, is very hydrating as well. Many say that its electrolytes surpass water, so it’s a great thing to keep around. You can drink it straight, or add it to other drinks, including smoothies and juices.

Use fresh vegetable juice as a staple in your diet as well. Find out where your local juice bars are (health food stores usually have them) or invest in a quality juicer and start playing with recipes at home. This helps hydrate, cleanse, and lighten the digestive workload of the body you love and live in.

After about two weeks of needed hydration, your body will adjust and consider the new level of water normal. You won’t need to go to the bathroom all the time or feel bloated.

If it is “boring” to you to drink plain water, add a drop of lemon juice. But come on … if you can down the wine, the lattes, and the tea don’t tell me that water is a challenge!

the good part

Pat was able to get things taken care of easily. He spent a few days focusing on hydration and within a day or two his mojo returned. Decisions were made without issue and he was back in the high life again, this time with his water bottle and veggie juice at his side.

What about you … how hydrated are you? Do you use a reminder to drink water or just self-discipline? Have any great secrets to share? Would love to hear from you.

Much love,

Laura

I was walking the other day, getting some exercise and just feeling my feet while I turned off my brain, when a client called. (We’ll call her Robin for the sake of privacy.)

Robin is one of those super brilliant wonderful people with three degrees and a very active mind who is on hyperdrive most of the time. A lot of business owners and entrepreneurs are like that. LOTS going on upstairs all the time. Robin called because she was in the middle of a new project, knew exactly what to do, had all kinds of support, but somehow couldn’t move ahead to save her life. She had tried everything she could think of, but every time she started to move ahead, sit down and actually do the next step, she got stuck. It was starting to feel like overwhelm to her and she needed help digging out.

I knew exactly what she needed, and the fix was easy: she needed the ground.

say what?

Being grounded is the state of being aware of your entire body as it relates to the rest of the world in the present moment. When you are truly grounded, you can clearly sense the connectedness of everything within your body – literally from head to toe – and how your toes connect to the ground. It even means that you can draw a sense or sensation of the ground up into your body.

It’s very easy in our world to NEVER be grounded. Most of us never even touch the ground at all during the day with our feet, let alone sit on the ground or make contact with our hands. We aren’t even connected to where we ARE … the car, the bed, the desk chair, the kitchen, the house. We are often stuck in our heads, moving ahead with the next step of the next project or plan we are working on.

We are usually having conversations with multiple people at once via text, email, social media, while waiting to hear back from others about projects we are moving forward with. We watch short news videos, skim the web for information, and basically live in our minds. When we use our heads this much, our energy center literally shifts from our bodies, our gravitational center point, to our head. It certainly stays away from our heart, our lower body, and especially away from the earth.

oh, but not me

Right now you are saying “Not me. I don’t have that problem. I’m grounded.” oh realllllllly now? (wry smile)

QUICK TEST …  Place your feet on the floor, shoulder width apart, and be in your usual state of being/mental state. Have a friend  firmly place both hands on your shoulders or upper body and see if they can push you over. Notice how simple it is to get you off balance.

grounded helps me how?

When we are in our mind, we are only really ever connected to our thoughts. This is not even a connection to reality (although we like to think it is) but to our idea of it, our spin on reality. Our perception is only created out of habit, conditioning, and suggestion. When we are grounded, however, we expand our connection. We keep a sense of us, and actually get a true sense of our SELVES, as well as adding in a sense of the rest of the world and universe. This connectedness allows for greater perspective and a sense of be-ing which garners clarity.

Decisions made from clarity are ones that take you closer to your vision, your goals, faster and more easily. Being grounded means that you come to know yourself better, more completely, and more honestly, and can therefore make decisions that are in your best interest without wrestling around for answers. This makes for a better business and helps bring peace to the people in the business.

You know you need to get grounded when you just went from your home to your work or your next appointment and have no idea how you got there. You are operating on autopilot and aren’t grounded at all.

quick fixes

Get back on your own two feet, and take a few deep breaths. Draw your center of attention to the spot on your abdomen about an inch or so below your belly button. You can put a hand on that spot and breathe into your hand. Keep your attention there, and then have your friend gently push against your upper body again. Notice how much more you stand your ground. Now you are grounded!

Eat grounding foods like corn, root vegetables, or things that grow in the ground. If you are eating popcorn the “old school” way (also referred to in my family as “the real way”)  by making it on the stove. Been a while since you have? Put vegetable or olive oil in a saucepan using enough to coat the bottom well then pour in enough popcorn to cover the bottom of the pan about ¾ of the way. Place on high heat and keep an eye on it. Remove it from heat when popping slows down to 2 seconds between pops. Add some mineral salt or pepper and maybe even some seasonings. Enjoy!

build your toolbox

Have a bunch of ways that work for you to get grounded quickly and easily. Practice recognizing when you need grounding and then ways to get grounded that work for you.

Not everything will work in every situation. For example, if you get grounded best by sitting in the floor, that is good to know, but it won’t help you when you are at a conference standing in a hallway talking to a group of people about what you need to do next for a meeting.

Try this list of ideas out and find your best solutions.

the good news

Even Robin, with her mind on overdrive, was able to stop and sit on the flowers. She was able to take my advice, do some grounding exercises and add them into her day. Within a couple days she was back on track and leaping tall buildings in a single bound.

What about you? How do you get grounded? What is your key indicator that you aren’t grounded?

Much love,

Laura